Cape Town to Port Elizabeth
The rental car smells faintly of sunscreen, biltong, and poor braking decisions. The many dents on the front bumper are testament to that. Sadly, the vehicle is the best on offer, so we make do.
To get a real perspective of the size and shape of Cape Town, a ride on the Aerial Cableway to the top of Table Mountain is a good place to start. With only a short ascent, it still manages to give you a sweeping visual feast with its 360 degree rotating cabin. Depending on the traveller’s own particular disposition this either provides a curiously unsettling feeling, especially when dangling from a single cable, or a thrilling six-minute ride where it’s impossible to take everything in.
Once at the top there are breathtaking panoramic views of the city, the Atlantic Ocean and surrounding peaks. Ticking off landmarks is easy. Lions Head, Signal Hill, the City Bowl, and the V and A Waterfront. Also visible is Robben Island, lying just a few miles offshore, the former maximum-security prison and leper colony where Nelson Mandela was incarcerated for 18 years.
The city offers numerous attractions for the visitor. A trip along the Boomslang canopy walkway at the Kirstenbosch National Botanic Garden, hiking at Lions Head for sunrise and sunset views, and the beautiful beaches of Clifton and Camps Bay. Culture is found at the V and A Waterfront with endless shops, restaurants and museums and offers visits to Robben Island by boat. Alternatively, wandering through the colourful houses of Bo-Kaap, the historic Cape Malay neighbourhood, or the Old Biscuit Mill with street art in Woodstock, is a delight, although perversely no biscuits are on offer. Not even old ones.
Camped out in Camps Bay, accommodation is at the smart Ocean View Guesthouse, which turns out to be one of my better overnight decisions. This is the posh side of Cape Town and comes with the usual trappings of poshness. Boutique shops, hip restaurants, beautiful beaches and expensive tastes. Parking is at a premium here, so bed and car space is preferential to bed and breakfast. Taking a scenic side-trip to Cape Point and Cape of Good Hope some 90 minutes away the precise aim of which is to take self-congratulatory photos to show off to the folks back home that we made it to the most southwestern point of Africa.
Leaving early next day a drive along the cliff roads to Betty’s Bay provides stunning background ocean scenery. There are only two shore-based African penguin colonies in South Africa and one is here at Stony Point Nature Reserve. You can smell them before you see them. And they are here in droves. You’d think with the amount of time these Charlie Chaplinesque characters spend in the water, they would keep themselves somewhat fresher. Nonetheless, the boardwalk allows you to view the colony close up and makes for a unique, if noisy experience. Each of the penguins seem to have their own characteristic traits, which makes for amusing viewing.
The Garden Route gets its name from the lush vegetation and diverse ecosystems—forests, mountains, lagoons, and coastline all packed into one scenic stretch. It’s basically nature showing off. Officially it runs from Mossel Bay to Tsitsikamma National Park stretching over 100 miles. Like most road-trippers we’re starting from Cape Town and heading beyond Port Elizabeth, or Gqeberha as it’s now known. That is assuming you can pronounce it. There is going to be over 1,000 miles under our tyres before we return to Cape Town, although many Garden Route travellers make it to Storms River before heading homeward, which reduces the overall mileage by about 20 per cent.
A couple of hours later the road sign announces arrival into Hermanus, a coastal town famous for whale watching. Between June and November, southern right whales come close enough to land, where they are easily seen from the shore. We don’t see any. Mainly because it’s May…..
A further 50 miles drive through huge farmlands dry as a bone with lack of rain brings us to Swellendam. This is not the most attractive of towns along the Garden Route, but because the rental car and myself have not been having the kind of relationship you would normally expect from our pairing, I take the decision to change the car in Swellendam. I nearly miss the turning into town, and as I pull out from behind the car in front, no-one is more surprised than me to see a low wall suddenly appear, dividing the two lanes. The decision to place a concrete barrier in the middle of a highway seems a somewhat perverse decision by the local authority. Probably because the chief planning officer has a brother with a car repair centre in town. Somehow, I manage to mount the barrier and jump over to the other side like a scene from Furious 2, although the car remains remarkably undamaged. I’ve just added another poor decision to the car’s history. It must be in despair about its run of bad luck in renters. The change of car is put on hold.
I know very little about our upcoming Swellendam accommodation, but as we approach down a dirt track we turn into a gated property with large grounds. Gaikou Lodge has an inspirational view of the mountains, so expectations are high. Luckily, the attractive room with central bath and a sweeping terrace overlooking the gardens is more than enough. A sign says don’t feed the baboons! I make sure I don’t. I don’t even know what they eat.
On a beautiful but cold morning, we leave town and take the road to Mossel Bay and settle down at a great beach restaurant for lunch. We push on through George to Knysna, a lagoon town surrounded by forests so lush they look like they’ve been photoshopped by Mother Nature herself.
Mount Knysna Boutique Hotel at the Heads, situated 4 km from town has an excellent reputation from the reviews I’ve seen, and indeed the property turns out to be first class. Meeting John the owner, we talk about local news and his soon to be ex-wife. Which I suppose IS local news. We have a wonderful dinner, post-meal drinks on the terrace overlooking the ocean, and in the middle of the night get up to see a spectacular displays of stars. If there is only one reason to visit Knysna, this is it.
However, the area does offer a lot more for the visitor who wants to stay awhile with boating, hiking and for some reason, oysters! Outside our room we feed birds by hand, glory in the sunshine with a view over the lagoon, listen to the sound of waves crashing on the rocks, and sample another couple of bottles of recommended wine. Our decision to stay only two nights seems a rather rash one. Two weeks may have been a better call. No matter how long you stay in nice places it is rarely long enough to satisfy.
Plettenberg Bay is next, where golden beaches meet rolling waves. It’s the kind of place that makes you consider quitting your job, becoming a beach bum, and living on smoothies and optimism. Sadly, I don’t have a real job, the beach is only warm enough for sitting on for about six months of the year, and I don’t like smoothies. However, I am optimistic enough to believe I can do all that someday. Just not today.
Along the way aim to stop in Tsitsikamma National Park to see what all the fuss is about. It forms part of the larger Garden Route National Park and protects one of the oldest indigenous forests in South Africa. Some trees here are over 800 years old. Two hours later, we’re clinging to a suspension bridge over the Storms River mouth, questioning every life choice that led us here. The bridge bounces with every step and confidence drains exponentially. It’s a great experience nonetheless and not to be missed. The stairs can be challenging on hot days, especially for those less fit, so taking both water and taking it easy is sound advice.
I haven’t included Port Elizabeth/Gqeberha on the itinerary. The thought of a large town after so much natural beauty limits the curiosity. The destination of choice is a game reserve where the inmates have a lot more to offer.
The first big game we stumble across in Bukela Lodge Game Reserve are Warthogs. This sounds disappointing not only because they’re not big game, but mainly because they aren’t the most exotic of creatures either. They instantly try to prove me wrong as their antics provide a good half hour of entertainment.
Having settled into our accommodation, the three-hour morning game drive starts at 6am. Immediately we are in the middle of a herd of elephants and as I casually turn round, a lioness is standing in front of our jeep. She casually jumps up onto a path at eye level with those of us in the jeep. She slowly walks past, barely feet away. I stop breathing, my heart skips a beat and my body gives a good impression of rigor mortis. Three lions follow. Not the ones on the England football shirts, but eminently more real and dare I say, more powerful
A short sleep back at the lodge and we’re up for afternoon tea, before another three-hour game drive in mid-afternoon. We see nothing for an hour and a half, then like buses, a Noah’s Ark of creatures appear one after the other. A cheetah with a recent kill, many zebra’s, several ostriches, two white rhino’s and a melange of buffalo. Reluctantly, we stop for beer and snacks. Maybe only the first time I’ve been reluctant to stop for a beer.
Back in camp there are only six of us for dinner. A German couple are trying to explain their first game drive in ever amusing anecdotes (who knew!), before the door flies open. Another couple walk in and we stare at each other. He breaks first by shouting out my name. I react by shouting Good God. This is not his name, but I do recognise him as Gerry, a guy I used to play with in the same football team back home, several decades ago. We haven’t seen each other since. Clearly, we haven’t changed appearance after all these years, or so we pretend. Catching up with life and big game stories in the evening over a fun filled dinner with old friends and the German couple, ends the perfect day.
With our last day at Bukela Game Lodge, we track and follow lions before setting off in search of giraffes. The sight of ten of them spread out across the plain made for a wonderful sight. I learn that a group of giraffes standing still is a called a ‘Tower’, and when they are moving they’re called a ‘Journey’. Either moving or standing still, they are fairytale animals seemingly transported here from some fabled land by mistake.
The journey back to Cape Town away from the coast takes in Oudtshoorn, known as the ostrich capital of the world. Because obviously, every road trip needs a large, slightly aggressive bird to contend with. Apparently ostriches have the largest eyes of any land animal—bigger than their brains. Which explains why they look at me like I am both fascinating and deeply disappointing at the same time…….
Just outside Oudtshoorn we move into another Game Lodge – Buffelsdrift. Three hippos in a lake greet us grumblingly before we are shown to our sleeping quarters. This turns out to what can only be described as a large tent. A beautifully designed and plush tent, but nevertheless, still a tent, as we find out that evening. The wind blows hard for a couple of hours before becoming a howling gale, buffeting the sides of our mini-marquee. This place should be renamed Buffetdrift. It makes for a relatively sleepless but curiously exciting night. In the morning I was anxious to find out if the hippos had survived the gale. After a refreshing outdoor shower, a walk to the lake ensured all was well in hippo-land. They basically hadn’t moved. Two game drives later in the day, we collapse in a heap and sleep the sleep of angels.
The following day, a three hour drive brings us to our next stop of Montagu. The Montagu Vines Guest House should have been easy to find but we couldn’t crack it. A police station suddenly appears at the side of the road, so when in doubt……. Not only were they very hospitable, our sergeant kindly offers to head a convoy of two cars to the property. It’s not every day you get a police escort for not having committed an offence. The Vines turns out to be a beautiful place where a log fire is burning in the room creating an even more hospitable welcome.
Nearby, we explore the Cango Caves, a series of limestone caverns with dramatic stalactites and stalagmites. The Caves are over 20 million years old which means they’ve had plenty of time to develop better acoustics than the sound system in the car. That wouldn’t be hard mind you, with the vehicle we’ve got.
After a great breakfast and lovely chat with the owners, we start driving towards Franschoek, stopping in Barrydale at “Diesel and Creme” for a burger and toasted sandwich on a recommendation from one of our many interactions with the locals. This really novel place has a huge collection of paraphernalia stuffed in its bowels, with old parts purged from garages and cars, signage and a veritable warehouse of roady rejects. And the burger was fantastic.
With the Cape Winelands next on the agenda, we drive on to Franschoek through the spectacular pass named after the town. We check in to the beautiful L’Ermitage Hotel for three nights and settle down into a room with a view of the small lake and the mountains beyond.
Franschhoek has enviable art and boutique shopping, but bargains are noticeable by their absence. We drop in to the Grande Provence wine estate, which I had visited four years previously on a business trip. Two separate wine tastings and a cheeseboard and chill jam later, we stock up on a few bottles before moving on to have coffee at Richard Branson’s beautiful Mont Rochelle Hotel Resort.
On our final day we enter Hottentots Holland Nature Reserve heading for a zip-lining adventure with Cape Canopy Tours. If we thought we were in for an easy time, it doesn’t work out that way. Clambering into a 4×4 for a 30 min journey into the mountains, just the jeep ride is worth both the money and effort. Much to the surprise of the group, the zip-lines are set over canyons some 300 feet high with thirteen lines in total. There is a realisation that once we get on our way, there is no turning back. It is an adrenaline-fuelled experience spending over 90 mins swinging from tiny wooden platforms high on the cliff faces across a variety of chasms. The 1km walk up a rocky mountain path back to our transportation takes a while but we finish up with chicken pie back at base. This is a highly recommended adventure not far from Cape Town and a great way to finish the Garden Route with a flourish.
The Garden Route requires patience and a reasonable degree of planning because, depending on what kind of road trip is required, distances travelled can be tailored to suit, especially on a return journey. Taking time for the many highlights along the way is preferable to covering a large area.